Once a Cow

Mommy K came by to collect my latest stash of EBM, and left me her Pigeon breastpads and MIM nursing tea.

She's got no more use for them.

I didn't think much about it until I nursed HH to sleep just now.

As she was suckling, my thoughts went to PC who had just been discharged from the hospital today with her newborn son. I suddenly remembered how it had been for me then. To be home with HH on the very first day. How I kept putting her to my breasts and she kept wailing in hunger after that. My milk flow did not come in like some mothers do, and hence HH was hungry.

I was not worried because I had read that I needed her to suckle more to relay the message to my brains which in turn would inform the glands to produce the milk needed. But she just kept crying.

Mom insisted on giving her formula. I relented and HH gulped 80ml at one go.

I decided to try pumping to see how much I could offer HH. When I could only express 10 ml try as I might, I decided it would not do to let HH go this hungry.

So every 2 hours or less, Mom fed her formula, AFTER I latched on. And while she was fed from the bottle, I continued to pump.
To me, this method provided a win-win solution. HH was fed, while my milk glands were stimulated.

Simple as it sounds, it meant I had no rest. HH fed 2 hourly. I was taught to latch her for 15-20 minutes at each breast each time. After that 30-40mins of latching, I went to the pump and pump for as long as HH took to drink to her fill, which could mean another 30 minutes (newborns are notorious at falling asleep several times during feeding, so it takes forever to finish a feed). After she finish the bottle, I/Mom would burp her, which could take up to 15 minutes. By the time we lay her down to sleep, I had about 45 mins max to rest before the next feed. And the cycle repeats itself 12 times every 24 hours, day and night.

It took me about 2 weeks to establish my milk flow. Thereafter I started to latch her direct and stopped supplementing after every feed. Still, by HH's full month dinner, I still had to add a bottle infrequently.

It was well into the second month before I could confidently leave milk bottles at home when I brought HH out. Total breastfeeding was finally achieved.

*****************************************************

I know every breastfeeding mother went through a tough time to establish the supply. Along with it, we suffered engorgement and blocked ducts.

Finally, we have reached the 6 months mark, and several mommies I know have decided to stop, for various reasons.
It is with complex thoughts and mixed feelings I receive their decision.

I wonder how it'll be for me. For the moment, I am still comfortable with nursing HH and find no compelling reasons to stop. But I am feeling more at ease now that I have reached my initial target of 6 months. I feel I can now stop with no guilt at any time, so long as the situation allows.

Even though I know I will definitely miss the special moments of closeness with HH during nursing, I know I will bear no regrets when the time comes for me to wean her from my breasts.

I wish the same for all bf mothers I know.

Cheers, to all my fellow cows, past and present.